two weeks in review

Went to Ndere Cultural Center and saw some pretty awesome African dance from all over Uganda.

Went on an adventure in Kampala to find fabric.

Ate Ethiopian food multiple times (once in what appeared to, quite literally, be an Ethiopian woman’s living room.)

Had a great conversation with an old friend about public health, medicine, foreign aid, and ethical responses to being confronted with need.

Went to the most chaotic taxi park in Africa (twice!)—and have photos for proof!

Was harassed in Owino market. Owino market is basically the world hub for second hand clothing. Did you give something away when you were 10? You might just find it at Owino market!

Participated in a meeting at work with the Minister of Gender and Development.

Visited a clinic and tested negative for malaria.

Saw Museveni and Barbara Bush’s photos side by side in the clinic I visited. Instilled complete confidence in me.

Was scolded by a German doctor and told to Sleep! (under my bednet!)

Was scolded by SOS in Johannesburg for going off malaria prophylaxis.

Met a woman who was deaf at work and attempted communication (my rusty ASL does not make for fluid conversation in Ugandan Sign!)

Was embraced by new friends at work who I hope genuinely like me.

I was gifted a Jack Fruit larger than my head, learned to cut up said jack fruit, and tried it for the first time! (Not my favorite, to say the least!)

Went to a fish market on the shores of Lake Victoria (Ggaba Market.)

Bid on a fish at an auction, with the help of a new Ugandan friend.

Ate amazing mango and fresh fish on the water.

Visited a restaurant with an amazing panoramic view of Lake Victoria and parts of Kampala.

Participated in the cooking and eating of the purchased fish.

Had a lizard literally fall on my head while I was making my bed. No big deal.

Avoided being charged the wrong price by taxi conductors (THRICE times) by insisting I knew what my correct fare and balance should be.

Visited the Bahai temple (the only one on the continent of Africa) and learned a bit about the Bahai faith.

Got invited to a party by the Ministry of Gender and Development and couldn’t attend due to questionable malaria status at the time.

Learned that my name means Milk in Luganda (actually Mata means milk, but that is how my name is pronounced here, exclusively.)

Started reading Anna Karenina.

in Uganda

In Uganda “it’s ok” means Yes.

In Uganda when you walk somewhere, you go by foot.

In Uganda when you go with someone, you move with them.

In Uganda you can bet that the muzungu price is twice as high as it should be. You can also bet that someone will stand up for your right to pay a fair price.

In Uganda the response to “hello” is often “I am fine.”

In Uganda food is starch.

In Uganda there are more varieties of bananas than I ever thought possible.

In Uganda Masau means: excuse me conductor, I’d like to get off the taxi… now!

In Uganda speaking any Luganda makes you a friend.

In Uganda communicating with rhetorical questions is pretty common.

In Uganda 10am means sometime before noon, probably.

In Uganda I bought the most beautiful fabric from an honest woman who told me... that fabric is NOT Ugandan.

In (my) Uganda, hot water is an occasional luxury.

In (my) Uganda, power outages that occur every other day are a fact of life.

In Uganda there is a tangible feeling of trying to balance peace, stability, and security with the prospects and potential that change might bring.

In Uganda poverty overwhelms me, but I remind myself that guilt is safe. Political and social activism, challenging global power dynamics, changing unfair policies, and dissecting the systemic causes of poverty are far more complicated, but necessary for sustainable and empowering change.

In Uganda I am making friends and enjoying my work; I am reading about reproductive health, gender, HIV, and the crosscutting vulnerabilities of disability in a developing country.

In Uganda I am constantly in awe of the salience of my public health education in every day life; Public health is everywhere.

In Uganda, I am relentlessly aware of how much the world is changing me.

Everything is going well in Kampala! I have been exploring the city, learning public transportation, and finding my way around by getting a little lost. In a way, being in a new place is like being a child again. It can be frustrating, but when you know almost nothing, everything you learn, discover, or master becomes the greatest accomplishment of your life. I love my life and work here and am learning constantly. There is nothing more fulfilling in life than that!

work

I am currently working with an organization in Uganda that does work on behalf of disabled women. It is a busy national office that does research, programming, and advocacy throughout Uganda. People with disabilities in Uganda, and especially women with disabilities, face immense discrimination. They are marginalized culturally, socially, economically, and their basic human rights are often denied. In large part this is due to a lack of infrastructure, resources, and political will in Uganda (my opinion).

My role within the organization is to help with the reproductive and sexual health outreach program (the reproductive health needs and rights of women with disabilities are largely ignored) and lead a team in qualitative research and analysis on gender mainstreaming processes of disability organizations. I will also help with grant writing and organizing the national office's resource center. I am sure my role here will develop and change as time goes on.

My work is about a ten minute walk from where I stay, which is great. We are north east of Kampala city center. I am slowly getting to know the area, the transportation, and the city in general. I am still infatuated with the market next to my house.

On a humorous note-- today a visitor came to the office who is blind. Her helper said "Oh, Sally, meet the muzungu." That's Me!

community

Maybe it’s time I gave a real update. Last Wednesday I moved from Pader to Kampala. Once I got over the initial shock brought on by traffic, loads of people, and tons of commercial options, I began settling in. It’s ridiculous how much I appreciate things like well-stocked markets, decent public transportation, and having roommates. One thing that Pader lacked was access in the broadest sense. You couldn’t buy a newspaper there (restricted access to information), food was restricted to what was grown there and did not require refrigeration (come to think of it, few items seem to require refrigeration outside of the US!), and there was little access to surrounding towns or villages. This is a problem that, as an American volunteer, I could choose to avoid, but it is the reality faced by millions of people around the world who live in rural or remote areas. Without infrastructure, political will, and development, this injustice won’t change.

Quickly after settling into Kampala, we jetted off to Mbale for the weekend. We took the post-bus to get there, which is supposed to be safer, if not a bit slow. It took around 5 hours and I ate some delicious roasted maize on the way! Mbale is located in eastern Uganda and has three main attractions: Abayudaya (the Jewish community in Uganda), Sipi falls (where much of the water here comes from), and Mount Elgon. We staryed in the town of Mbale, which is sort of semi-urban center without too much going on. The weekend, however, was amazing.

It was therapeutic for me to spend a weekend with some other volunteers. I haven’t laughed that much in ages, and I had forgotten how good it feels to be happy. On Friday night we went to the Abayudaya community, which is about 20 minutes outside of Mbale. We were told that taxi drivers go there and would know what we were talking about. Not the case! People looked at us like we were absolutely insane! Eventually though, we found Isa, who became our go-to guy for the weekend. He took us right where we needed to be. The area was absolutely stunning—green and mountainous. We had a couple hours to kill before services so we walked around and chatted with people. Everyone was friendly and receptive to us. The service was absolutely beautiful and conducted in what felt like equal parts Hebrew, English, and Luganda. Some of the melodies I recognized and others were new, but the experience was unforgettable. After the service my friend who I was traveling with went to say goodbye to the Rabbi and he invited us to his house to eat Shabbat dinner with his family. My friend used to work for an organization that supports this community, so she had met him once before and he remembered her. It was such a unique opportunity to be able to eat wit the Rabbi’s family and have interesting discussions with him and his wife—ranging from religion to good restaurants in LA to Ugandan politics (he ran for MP recently). We left feeling so energized and grateful for the hospitality we encountered.

The next morning we returned to the Abayudaya community for services. They were again incredibly beautiful, and my friend and I were honored with an Aliyah (basically to say a prayer before and after a Torah portion is read). The Rabbi’s sermon was also super feminist, so I was happy (about inheritance rights of women, which is also very relevant in Uganda)! Everyone we met was so incredibly friendly and the commitment to Judaism was inspiring. Judaism isn’t just a religion for this community, it is something they dedicate themselves to entirely. On a more superficial level, it also felt like a super weird paradox to hear perfect Hebrew, and the Hebrew prayers I have been saying my whole life, in the middle of Uganda. Trippy.

After saying goodbye to the Rabbi and the other community members we met, we went back to Mbale and caught a taxi to Sipi Falls. We were told that taxi would take 60-90 minutes. Not the case. It was ok, but very VERY crowded! We eventually got there and went on a beautiful hike. The water falls were gorgeous and it’s just a generally really beautiful part of the country. On the way back we were planning to catch a taxi, but it was getting a little late. We hitched a ride with a group of Ugandans and enjoyed the ride in the bed of their truck. It was actually one of the best travel experiences of my life! It was kind of weirdly magical. It started raining, but when the truck was moving, we couldn’t feel it at all. It was cold, but the driver offered his jacket to us as a blanket. We had a couple of sing-a-longs and chatted most of the way. It was great.

On Sunday we checked out the health center that just got built for the Abayudaya community (it also serves the Christian and Muslim communities in the area) and then we got on the “Kampala Express” bus and came home. The bus was supposed to take 3 hours and it took 4.5, but that’s life! We did not hesitate to buy some street-meat during the drive. It was a great weekend filled with Indian food, feeling part of a community (the Jewish community in Uganda and also the community of fellow volunteers I was with), beautiful sites, and laughter! It really reminded me of how important having a community is in my life. I am so grateful to all the various communities I am a part of and to the community of people I have here in Uganda

Today I started work at my new placement, which I will talk about another day!

ntinda market

items purchased at the market next to my house:

1 fragrant pineapple (I may or may not be about to google: how to cut a pineapple)

1 bunch of miniature bananas (eaten for lunch with some well traveled peanut butter)

1 kilo of sorted rice

6 medium eggs (how to boil an egg is next on my google list)

1 rolex (chippati, 2 eggs, cabbage, onion, tomato)

2 ripe and beautiful avocados

2 liters of water bottled from sipi falls

life is good.

learning to walk

There is a concept in international development called leapfrogging. An example of this phenomenon is a country with good cell phone infrastructure, but few landlines. This country is said to have skipped an "inferior" or unnecessary stage of development. Leapfrogging is lauded as a way for developing countries to "catch up" or avoid more environmentally harmful developmental stages that industrialized countries have gone through. It proposes that the trajectory of development set forth by industrialized countries is not necessary or implicit for the global south.

But, I am not writing this to bore you with development theory (because, oh wait, I've already done that). This is more personal, so please stick with me. For me, coming to Pader, a rural district in a tenuous post-conflict region of northern Uganda, was leapfrogging. There were several steps in my own life and career trajectory that I was skipping and these steps were not “inferior” or unnecessary to my growth. I didn't know that this was what I was doing; all I knew was that I wanted to be here so badly. I wanted to be in Uganda, studying and experiencing public health and development, acting in solidarity with social justice. I chose to put myself in a situation that I wasn’t developmentally ready for, without respect for my own limitations. I wanted to be someone who could risk it all, adapt completely, and succeed against all odds, but the reality is, I am human, and by that I mean: hopelessly flawed.

I am leaving Pader this week. My reasons are complex, but the abridged version is that I was not prepared for the intensity of this placement. There are plenty of other, more logistical, issues, but they are not important anymore. I am being offered an alternative position at an NGO in Kampala, Uganda, which I am grateful and excited for. I am thrilled that I will have the opportunity to live and work in Kampala and get to know that city. I know that I will continue to learn a lot.

I have absolutely nothing against Pader or the work I have been doing here. I have infinite respect for the people I met and worked with, for the people who shared their stories with me, and for the organization I worked with, which is doing amazing and brave work under extraordinarily difficult circumstances. I am not going to pretend that my short month in Pader made any impact whatsoever on anyone but myself; I only hope that I did not do more harm than good. Even that, I cannot be sure of. I have only gratitude for this experience, which allowed me to learn things about myself that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. I am indebted to those who supported me through this experience and my ultimate decision to leave: my coworkers, AJWS staff, other volunteers here in Uganda and Kenya, my professors and mentors at home, my friends and classmates all over the world (shout out to Cameron in Ethiopia!), and my family.

It is easy for me to look at my experience thus far as a failure, but I am making a conscious choice not to do that (a choice that I have to recommit myself to basically everyday and sometimes every hour). This was a learning opportunity and a stepping-stone on my path that, until now, was looking far too linear. More than that, it was an exercise in patients, understanding, and compassion. When I think of Pader, as I imagine that I will often, I will think of it as a place that allowed me to know myself better. For that, I can only be appreciative and humble.

Leapfrogging, in international development and in life, is possible. People tell stories of babies that walk without crawling, or speak sentences without ever uttering a word before. But this has never been my personal reality. I trudged through each stage of development, sometimes painfully. This experience has proven no different. I must allow myself to learn to walk before I can run.

Kampala will teach me how to walk; I am ready to learn.

witnessing bravery

I think it took me longer than most people to realize the salience of gender in society and culture. Perhaps this is a testament to the egalitarian nature of my upbringing--being a girl was never a liability or limitation in my parent's house. The cultural meaning applied to my female-ness felt neutral, even irrelevant. I wasn't expected to clean, cook, or be a nurturer just because of the way I was born (and the identity I claimed).

The first time I remember really noticing something about boys and girls and power, I was nearly fourteen. I remember keeping a tally in my school notebook of the number of times a boy versus a girl was called on in my english class. I had a hunch that something wasn't fair, so naturally I needed to collect some data to back up my suspicion.

I was right, of course, the boys were being called on at twice the rate of girls (and disproportionate to the number of boys and girls in the class), but I don't remember doing anything about it. Perhaps it just confirmed what I was already beginning to figure out--life is not fair.

When I was in college people talked about gender, power, identity, inequality, and feminism like my friends in high school talked about celebrities and beach trips--with passionate abandon! I took classes that taught me about these things in different contexts and asked the questions I'd never thought to ask: was the education system failing boys or girls (or both)? what meanings do other cultures attach to sex? are characteristics biological or learned? what role does the feminist movement play in the world today? why are women more at risk for HIV than men? why are women rendered powerless in so many situations? and why are American women still making seventy cents on the man's dollar?

When I went abroad I was able to see these questions in a new light. I began to learn and experience the full extent of how women are marginalized in the world. But being abroad was also the first time I saw the extent of women's power. Women were holding up their communities in the face of HIV, caring for the sick, and creating economic opportunities for themselves. I became amazed by the bravery I saw in the face of global oppression.

When I came back to the US, I continued to study this dichotomy: I took more classes and began asking the difficult questions instead of just struggling to respond. I worked in a women's economic empowerment program and saw that the bravery I was so in awe of in women abroad was equally present domestically. I began to see women as a crucial factor in population health. This was confirmed by what others in public health were saying--educating girls is the key to global change, economically empowering women leads to better health outcomes in families, investing in maternal health creates healthy, more economically viable societies.

In my master's program, the central role that women play in the public's health is implicit. Women matter in their own right, but also to the success of public health, development, peace, economic advancement, education, and political will.

In Uganda I am working at an organization that strives to empower women in the face of remarkable challenges. A traditionally patriarchal society, a 23 year insurgency, poverty, a culture of violence, HIV/AIDS, and a lack of infrastructure. Girls drop out and are forced to leave school early at an appalling rate. Gender based violence and forced marriages are all too common. And yet, again, I see the bravery... this time of women and men (who, I am now seeing, have the capacity to act as incredible allies for women's empowerment).

I am lucky that this has become a part of my life story. I am lucky to be here, witnessing bravery all the time.

Wendell Berry

Questionnaire

By Wendell Berry (Leavings)

1. How much poison are you willing to eat for the success of the free market and global trade? Please name your preferred poisons.

2. For the sake of goodness, how much evil are you willing to do? Fill in the following blanks with the names of your favorite evils and acts of hatred.

3. What sacrifices are you prepared to make for culture and civilization? Please list the monuments, shrines, and works of art you would most willingly destroy.

4. In the name of patriotism and the flag, how much of our beloved land are you willing to desecrate? List in the following spaces the mountains, rivers, towns, farms you could most readily do without.

5. State briefly the ideas, ideals, or hopes, the energy sources, the kinds of security, for which you would kill a child. Name, please, the children whom you would be willing to kill.

I read this poem today, not for the first time. But I read it in the right place, at the right time, and with the right mindset and it resonated with me in a new way, as poetry has a way of doing. I think it sums up (way more eloquently and interestingly than I could write) some of my feelings about approaches to development, globalization, power, and the responsibility that we owe. Every decision that we make (and the decisions of our governments) has a consequence, and paying attention to those consequences--being mindful and analytical and interested--is part of social justice and responsibility.

re-imagining development

When trying to come up with a composite social indicator to demonstrate relative development between countries, the United Nations used a set criterium. Each indicator included in the composite must:

1. Not assume one pattern of development

2. Not be value reflective

3. Measure results, not inputs

4. Reflect levels and distribution

5. Be easy to construct

6. Be comparable internationally

From this, the Physical Quality of Life Index (PQLI) was born [a composite of life expectancy at age one, infant mortality, and adult literacy], and later the Human Development Index (HDI) [a composite of life expectancy at birth, literacy and school enrollment rates, and GNI].

The Human Development Index philosophizes a bit, believing that Sustenance, self esteem, and freedom are what define human development, and therefore the development of nations.

Sustenance: satisfaction of basic needs without which life would be impossible; food, shelter, health and protection.

Self-esteem: a sense of worth and self-respect. More than material wealth and prosperity. Modern world confuses self-respect, honor with material wealth.

Freedom: increasing the range of human choice. One may choose to work less to get higher level of leisure.

Currently, the Millennium Development Goals (MDGs) are most commonly cited when referring to the development of a country. The MDGs are outlined as follows:

1. Eradicate extreme poverty and hunger

2. Achieve universal primary education

3. Promote gender equality and empower women

4. Reduce child mortality

5. Improve maternal health

6. Combat HIV/AIDS, malaria, and other diseases

7. Ensure environmental sustainability

8. Develop a global partnership for development

All three of these measures share one major defining assumption in common: the measurement of development cannot be determined by money alone. Ranking nations based on economic indicators does not reflect development in the holistic sense, and is therefore not good enough.

Unfortunately (or conveniently) none of these 3 frameworks address development in any practical way (accept maybe the MDGs, although they don't necessarily dictate the pathways). What does development look like in practice, on the ground, in the field? Money, programs, construction, infrastructure, political will, job creation, peace keeping/building, economic empowerments, education, and (sometimes) free t-shirts. That's what I have seen, anyway.

In Uganda, I have a lot of time to think about development, what it means, who defines it, and the type of power construct that it assumes. I appreciate the theory behind PQLI and HDI and the simplicity and goal orientation of the MDGs. I am critical, however, of the notion that measuring development is possible or useful for those whom the measures do not privilege. I am skeptical of the way that development continues to be approached in the global south and wonder what voices are heard at the collective development table.

Development should be a conversation--priorities determined by those who are impacted in their communities. Those who have been most marginalized by globalization (and previous development efforts) should be empowered to envision societies where their needs are met and their rights protected. Dependency should be discouraged--not because it might make the donors feel bad, but because those who are dependent have human rights that must be respected and protected. Development must be critically examined through a human rights framework and that may mean throwing away some of our previous assumptions, measurements, and ideas about what development means.

I'd like to say that those who live in countries deemed 'less developed' are victims of a global conspiracy for western countries to retain power at all costs. I'd like to say that the concept of development, in general, is a ploy of the west to impose some neo-colonialist ideology. I don't know if either of those things are actually true, or maybe they just sound good and convenient. Meanwhile, people are dying of curable diseases, millions don't have access to basic health care (in the US too), women are marginalized in unimaginable ways, inequalities are perpetuated by the very structures of societies, and the human rights of billions of women, men, and children are ignored.

But, hey, development might fix that.

(thanks to my notes from Tulane's Health and Economic Development class in the SPH&TM)